A WORLD WITHOUT WOMEN……

  

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      A very intriguing concept and fodder for a blog.  First off, I need to create a scenario in which all the femininity of this planet disappears. As I see it….one evening, during March, while there was a full moon, all the women of this planet had their heads spontaneously combust, leaving only neck stumps with expensive necklaces. All the married men (or most), freaked out and immediately contacted their lawyers or tried to contact their girlfriends without success. Most were worried they would be blamed for this event because of something stupid they may have said which pissed off their mates prior to combustion.

     FOX NEWS, with only three news anchors left, was reporting this catastrophe as an attempt by the Left to downsize the Tea Party and to eliminate moms. In time, the word spread throughout the world, that all females had been cerebrally imploded, leaving no one to clean up the mess. During the next six months, all house plants died, as well as gold fish and parakeets. Dogs formed into large hunting packs, preying on the weak and those using walkers. All the men, who had not starved to death, received instructions from FEMA on the operation and nomenclature of washing machines and stoves.

     After a year of debates, parades, boycotts and street rallies, all the states finally passed the Shepherd Act, making it legal for man and sheep to marry.  It was now unlawful for grocery stores to sell lamb chops. Several other changes took place during this time. Seats were removed from all toilets, reality shows were canceled, and all the musical theaters on Broadway were converted into Ultimate Fighting arenas. Cable had 80 channels of sports and all old world pornography was removed from the internet, as this was provoking a spike in suicides and mental breakdowns. Male teens were becoming mental zombies, as they had no one to blame for their ignorant behavior. Monasteries were now overflowing.

Three years later, domestic violence became an issue and soon grocery stores stated selling lamb chops again. Politics now made more sense, there were less alcoholics, less lawyers, less florist and most homes had industrial washers that could accommodate a month’s worth of dishes or clothes at one time.     

     After five years, two distinct groups of men made up society. The first were lumberjacks who never shaved or bathed and wore whatever mismatched colored clothes they wanted. The second group of men became stylish and seasonally fashionable even bringing the mini skirt back in vogue. Retail chains sprung up like Victor’s Secret, Fredrick’s Boot Boutique, and Frankies Jockline Waxing. Tupperware parties with power tool demonstrations were popular.

Twenty years after “WHE” (Women’s Heads Exploding), the world was finally at peace. Half the world’s population was now dead and men were now wearing and acting like, whatever. Teens, who had not been eaten, had all grown up and were now living in national parks like herds of Pronghorn sheep. The average player’s age for the Green Bay Packers was 50 and the game only lasted an hour. There’s no longer a congress, as most have died off or just wander the streets of Washington visiting sheep bordellos. Sad to say, in another fifty years, all that will be left of the world society will be talking sheeple.

                                                                                  Baaahhh!

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